I often hear many folks say that they are “doing everything” but just cannot see any improvement with their weight or health. They feel that the scale barely moves despite their best intentions and efforts. What gives? It’s not black and white and there is definitely nuance involved, which I get to address when I coach individuals one on one. There are, however, some common pitfalls I’d like to teach you so that you can pay better attention to them and build a healthier lifestyle.
(Short on time? Click here for The Bottom Line)
The feeling that you are doing everything right, coupled with not seeing the results you expect is very frustrating. Interestingly, it is not this point which leads people to regain weight or which prevents weight loss. It is the internal self-talk that usually follows, the story you tell yourself about the misalignment between your perceived behaviours and anticipated outcomes, and the eventual “what’s the point” mentality, that then actually leads to the opposite of what you want.
I find that there are 4 common gaps people are not considering when it comes to weight management. The gap between:
- Perceived Behaviours vs Actual Behaviours
- Behaviours vs Results
- Expectation of Results vs Reality of Results
- How we Measure Results
Let’s explore each to better understand.
When it comes to our habits, choices, and behaviours, there is often a gap between what we tell ourselves we are doing and what we are actually doing. For example, you might say I walk 5 days a week, for 30 minutes per day, for 1 month. While this is your intention, and perhaps even is truly the case in week 1 and 2, when life happens, you might miss a few of the walks in weeks 3 and 4. But at the end of the month, the story often remains in our head that we walked 5 days a week, 30 mins a day, every single week. This can be applied to any other healthy habit or behaviour we are trying to create, maintain, or change. This discrepancy is the first gap to be aware of. You may imagine if a similar pattern follows for nutrition, sleep, or any other pillars of Lifestyle Medicine, that there would be multiple gaps between what we think we are doing vs what we are actually doing.
Next is the gap between behaviours and results. This one really comes down to expectation management. The concept of 10,000 steps is a great example. 10,000 steps is a great goal to strive for daily, it helps us move our body more, get your heart rate up, and be less sedentary. However, 10,000 is a somewhat arbitrary number, and research is clear that heart health benefits start at just 4,000-7,000 steps per day. I share this example here because 10,000 steps does not magically result in weight loss or keeping pounds off. Nor does it offset overeating, binge eating, taking in excess calories, or consuming low nutrient density foods (i.e. ultra-processed foods, high calorie dense foods, etc). And of course it does not address mental health, emotional barriers, food relationships, or the many, many other factors at play when it comes to obesity. Yet society treats 10,000 steps as a holy grail of sorts. The issue here is when you keep telling yourself “I get 10,000 steps every day but I am not losing any weight.” That becomes the narrative and the other factors involved are downplayed, or ignored altogether. This is a recipe for disaster since it leads to feelings of hopelessness and despair, which then keep us stuck in the same old routines.
Third, we examine results themselves, and what we think they will be vs what they actually are. Yes, this is another form of expectation management, but it mainly comes down to misunderstanding of timelines and perceptions. Anecdotal evidence (stories from others) plays a big role here as well. We might hear someone online say “I lost 10lbs in 1 month taking this one supplement”, or a friend who loses 20lbs in 3 months talking about one or two things that worked really well for them. While these weight loss numbers are possible, remember that we never have the full story… What else was that person doing? What other changes were made? In addition to taking a supplement, did they stop eating junk food? Did they sleep better? Optimize movement? We make decisions and assumptions based on little snippets of information which result in us thinking that “if I just do the same thing as that person, I will get the same results.” Aside from the plethora of nuance here, this is a common gap between what we expect results to be vs what they actually are. This creates confusion and dissatisfaction all over again. It usually takes at least ~12 weeks of consistent behaviour change to see any meaningful, measurable results, whether it is the number on the scale or otherwise. And that is especially true if you want your results to last. If you think doing something for 4 weeks will give you results that usually take 12 weeks, and then at the end of the first month you throw in the towel, it will feel like nothing is working. This is not necessarily true, since we don’t know what your results would have been if you “did the thing” for 12 weeks (or more).
Finally, how we measure results is a gap that must be addressed. When it comes to weight management, everyone is focused on the number on the scale. I get it, I used to be too. Society, diet culture, and toxic weight stigma and bias have beat this into us. The number on the scale is one data point, and not a very accurate or reliable one at that. But many of us unfortunately tie our self-worth and mental health to it, leading to more frustrations and gaps that we hardly ever pause to consider. A body weighing scale reports your mass on this Earth (how many atoms you are made of and it confirms that gravity is working). We know that from any object on the floor (such as a table or chair). But the number on the scale does not tell me your water intake, when your last bowel movement was, how your nutrition is, whether you are strength training, what your mood is, how you are feeling, and quite frankly, anything else really. I would invite you to consider reflecting on other ways we can measure success. Although this can be done in many ways, I’d like to share my favourite with you: Non-Scale Victories.
Non-Scale Victories are exactly what they sound like: other (better) ways to measure success on a weight loss (or health gain) journey, rather than getting caught up with the number on the scale. They represent non weight measures that are often what we see first before the scale changes. For instance, as you make positive behaviour changes, you may notice your clothes fit better, energy levels improve, endurance and conditioning strengthen, sleep improves, pain decreases, mood lifts, etc. Shifting your focus to these victories helps you reframe your progress and how it more likely aligns with your habits, helps you feel less frustrated, and makes it more likely that you will keep going down your health improvement and weight management journey. As an added bonus, it also creates a longer runway over which you may see the scale change among other results, as you keep making consistent progress.
I believe the ultimate non-scale victory and best success is actually how your awareness and attention shift and how perspective and mindset improve when it comes to making health changes for any health goal. While difficult to quantitatively measure, remember that you are never stationary in the same spot on your health journey. Even if you have attempted making changes and struggled or “fell off the wagon”, each time you get up and try again, you are better for it. You have learned from those experiences. You may learn what works for you and what does not, or what your barriers to change are, or different strategies and tools you pick up along the way. And you can use all of this to your advantage to try again.
Remember, failure and mistakes are normal. They are our teachers and guide rails. Not experiencing success with a weight or health intervention does NOT make you a failure. Your identity and self-worth do not change.
Your Action Plan:
- Bring your awareness towards the common gaps you learned about today
- Mindfully explore these gaps without judgement
- Reflect on which gaps you might experience
- Brainstorm ways to reframe your narrative (the story you tell yourself)
Approaching these steps with self-compassion will help you as you go through the process.
As always, chase progress, not perfection.
I believe in you,
Dr. Khimji
The Bottom Line
Feel like you are doing everything but the number on the scale is not changing? I hear you, it’s frustrating. But mind the gap(s) in thinking. Commonly there are gaps between perceived behaviours and actual behaviours, behaviours vs results, expected results vs reality of results, and how we measure success. The story we tell ourselves and how we speak to ourselves matters much more than we realize. This influences our beliefs and perspective and changes how we see ourselves, our behaviours, and the results we desire. Pay more attention to non-scale victories and celebrate little wins along the way. Practice bringing your awareness towards expectation management and the gaps between what we think/perceive and what we really do. Be mindful and reflect on what gaps happen for you. Try reframing these phrases and sentences so you can update your narrative and how you speak to yourself. Self-compassion goes a long way here!