As I was searching for a photo for this health reminder, I was surprised to see that nearly every photo for social connection had someone on their cellphone, as though it was a part of the body and always attached to us. In today’s world, it certainly feels like it is.

We often feel distraught when we cannot find our phones, frantically looking everywhere, no different than looking for misplaced glasses. We feel that our phones are essential to navigate the world and ourselves.

Technology influences and shapes our lives in myriad ways. By the wonders of technology we have so many ways to learn and share, we can stay in touch over video, calls or text, and we can keep up to date on current events anywhere in the world.

Despite this hyperconnectivity, most folks describe feeling lonely, disconnected, isolated, and filled with social anxiety. What’s going on here? How have we become more disconnected in a more electronically connected world?

Human beings are social creatures. Belonging in community and being together with others is integral not only to our survival but also to thriving and flourishing.

I like to think this is how email, social media, and other connective technology began: as a way to bring us all closer together, to bond, and to help us find communities and groups where we could feel the belonging we need.

The only problem is we are meant to connect in person, face to face, and true human connection and the feelings and emotions that take hold with those connections, are nearly impossible to replace. Having a solid in-person social network and fostering positive relationships matters profoundly.

Both social connection and the depth of the relationships you have matter. Research shows that having deeper, more trusting, and closer relationships strongly correlates with longevity and happier, healthier living.

Activities are often more engaging, interactive, and fun in group settings. And working together helps us overcome larger obstacles. We can lend a listening ear or give support to one another as we go through the normal ups and downs of life. We have people to share our achievements, hardships, and success with.

Making friends as adults is not easy, but it is never too late to start making friends again or joining a community where you belong. Think of small entry points to start yourself on the journey to developing more meaningful relationships.

Try any of the following:

  • Join a club/group for something you have an interest in
  • Join a recreational sports league
  • Join an organization where you can volunteer
  • Take a new course or class
  • Join a religious or spiritual group
  • Join a local book club

This can feel scary and cause some anxiety for some of you. When you do go, it might feel awkward or that it is not the best fit. That’s okay and normal. Those feelings usually pass as we get more comfortable and expand our comfort zone. And don’t forget to be proud of yourself for trying something new!

Do not give up if the first group doesn’t work out. Be persistent and confident. There are people out there who you will connect well with, it just takes a bit of effort and confidence to find them.

So instead of worrying so much about the strength of your wifi signal, start to build more connections in person, and think about how strong your social connection is!